Don't Run

If you run what is it you will find? Is it the dreams you left behind, will nightmares run swiftly by your side, will all that is so right and wrong leave you to find your own way home or will it return to remind you running is like the sky. The clouds come and the clouds go and so does the rain and what might be gone tomorrow can easily return the next day.

The road to run is long, it has rocks and sharp glass to cut your feet, it brings with it no signs of sun, just darkness follows in its path. Here lies loss and pain. Empty graves of darkness lies within the field, a field of broken promises and disgust. The trees stretch their long bony arms pulling at your clothes, trying to hold you back, no one is to leave, no one ever can. It is a door within a forest of weeds and thorns you will never find, a never ending tale.

In the end is it not best to abandon the cause, leave that door alone and look towards the sun. Clouds come and go and so does the rain but if you hope and keep fighting it can return any day and you will be okay. Stay true to yourself and face things as they come no matter how hard it may seem.

Doors and Keys

We were so stupid back then. Can you remember?  Now we find ourselves back here, back in this creaky run down house in the middle of the forest where it all started. When we found it we just had to open it to see what was inside, the warning on the wooden box clearly did not stop us. As we opened it, all expecting the priceless gems or coins of gold just waiting for us. Instead we discovered a key, a key that could fit into each closed door in the house. Some doors were white, others were yellow, doors like a rainbow spread out far and wide.
We opened the first of the doors discovering a messy bed made out of wood and a red cape thrown over the chair. As the room revealed nothing exciting we walked towards another door and without hesitation unlocked it. Expecting more we were disappointed to find just a spinning wheel in the middle of the room so we left and sighed looking at each other

 As we reached our third door a faint whisper came from the  unlocked door where we started, it was clear that someone was trying to conceal their voice, it was calling for us. A few ignored it and ran to help. As the key turned on the next door a loud thump sounded from the second room like someone falling on the floor with the noise of the spinning wheel repeating itself over and over.  We heard a soft call for help but some of us ignored it, we wanted to see more, as much as we could. Opening our third door we finally found something, an old woman walking around with a basket of apples. She approached and offered us some with a tempting voice and attitude, many took and stayed behind while the rest of us carried on.

The fourth door led us to a wooden box, the warning on it did not bother us, we just had to see what was inside. Expecting to find gems and gold all we discovered was another key and looking around us more doors, each one a different color. We were so stupid back then. Can you remember? We opened ourselves up to danger and lost a few, a prick on a finger turned into obsession with the outside, and the old woman lured us to her with the taste of sweet poisoned apples. Now we have another key, another chance to open some doors, maybe one of them will lead us out of here, climbing hair of gold to safety, a dragon to cleanse this house.

This is no fairy tale but we often think of it as one, we open one door to see what is inside and before we notice we had opened another. One door always leads to another. Whether it takes you to an evil wolf or pretty princess, even an old woman with hidden intentions, rather try and choose your own story and not someone else s. Never follow the crowd, be your own writer, yourself.  

The "snow" we walk on

I imagined you with me on that cold winters day.

 I wanted you to save me from the chill of the morning breeze, the snow that covered my bare feet. I looked towards the giant monument, the clock centered in town and it became clear that you were not going to show. I was alone, for the first time in my life I had nowhere to hide or seek comfort, like everyone else you had left me. I walked the empty streets hoping that somewhere I would see you waiting for me, telling me that we got lost somehow but as the frozen leaves fell to the ground so did the hope inside me fade.

Night had set in as I found home, the house that was once alive had become a monster, Its doors and broken windows resembled years of neglect. The fire burning inside its belly was small and faint as smoke escaped from the chimney disappearing into the dark night. The fire provided little heat and comfort to my already troubled mind and night had only begun. I imagined you with me on that cold winters night, I imagined things how they were supposed to be but nothing had prepared me for this.

I found your letter, the one you had written me, the one engraved within my heart. You said that you were sorry but you cant accept me, you cant face the truth about who I really am. The fire was dying now and I had nothing within me to keep it from dying as the slicing wind blew violently through the house. You said that you were sorry, that maybe if you had done things differently I would not be so. You asked me to forgive you for all that has been done, that we can play the game once more but on your rules, ones you had written a very long time ago.

My house, everything I knew was falling apart around me. I stood in the snow barefoot each day hoping you would show so that I could show you in all honesty that the one you loved is not gone. The clock ticked by for months and days, long days where I hoped that this might be the day you would come back for me. Eventually as all seasons go the snow began to melt, but still no sign of you and day by day I started fixing my house trying to ignite the fire from within.

Winter for now has passed. And if I could I would write you a letter too.

A letter engraved into your heart telling you that I forgive you but I will no longer walk along the icy river and streets of time hoping you will show. The truth is I did not lose you, you lost me a very, very long time ago. I remember in you letter you said to me that no one knows what the future holds, I guess that is the truth but I know I will not be broken anymore. Search for me and you will find me, me not someone else.

In it you will find...

Sunrise

Light from windows shine

In its warmth I find myself

Blinded, lost but found

Sands of time

Shines the stars and moon

light from window shines once more

to repeat a circle, Love divine

J.R Robberts  2012

The SURPRISE party

You only get today, tomorrow is not today and today is no indication of tomorrow. You know those birthday parties where everyone shouts "SURPRISE" as you enter the room, well nothing prepares you for that and there is nothing to fall back on if you are not the party type or not in the mood for a party. It is out of your hands as to when, where, how...you simply fit in to the plan. If there is anything about the party that sucks you are sworn by yourself not to say a word and just go with the flow.

Life also does it, "SURPRISE" I mean. Today might be as normal as any other day and before you know it life shouts at you with a big smile and bright balloons. Sometimes you find those surprises that are good like a raise in salary, a big win or simply a planned vacation finally arriving. Life also has those not so good surprises. For example you buy a car from dealership X and expect a brand new car to bring you years and years of joy only to find out that life is going to be shouting surprise a lot more when it comes to that car. As soon as problem 1 is fixed another one comes along.

Enough said. But what do we do about the "SURPRISE" in service. When going to a shop or buying a product we expect it to deliver and exceed our expectations. If this does not happen do we speak up or simply let it slide by hoping that next time it might be better. The truth here is that life will shout "SURPRISE" each time you visit that shop or buy that product and eventually you will just not buy it anymore or go there anymore and what good does that do? Is it not right that we pop a balloon once or twice and say thanks for the "SURPRISE" but I think I will speak to a manager or phone the hotline displayed on the product. That way you lessen the chances of being surprised in a bad way and more likely to be surprised in a good way upon return.

There are some surprises that will never be in our control but then there are those that can be changed and not only when it comes to service. I think it is important to remember that at the end of every party it is up to us to thank everyone for coming, so we do have the final say even if it is only in a small way. Its just about finding the right words.

And Action...

A stage production is filled with scenes of laughter, drama, suspense and various emotions. It brings from within feelings we have all experienced at one stage or another and the best of these stays with us for months and years to come. We all play a part in our own production, a story flung together, intertwined by events which sometimes can leave us with no plot, a story in which your character  does not understand what had just happened or why, trying to solve a mystery with no or little clues.

Behind the scenes as said before our mind is trying to make sense of each situation and can sometimes go overboard stretching out the story, transforming characters from good to evil,  breaking each segment, dissolving its true meaning and purpose. Soon you are left questioning yourself if non fiction is actually fiction and whether your characters are indeed truthful in their ways.

Yet you are the one holding the pen writing the script word for word.

The realization I came up with in my script is to give my characters time to evolve, to allow them to grow before I make changes to the script or alter it's meaning. Not everything is black and white and meant to be understood until the curtain falls. We can't judge them or show that we do not support there intentions just because of where the character came from, each of them is unique and deserves that place or second chance without a doubt.

As we tell our story to others we learn, we learn what would happen and how we would feel if the ending came in a specific way, but the truth is today and tomorrow there will be no ending, not until the Fat lady does sing announcing that the show is over for you. Before that happens we must be willing to break a few legs and enjoy the show. No tale comes without ups and downs, it's what we do with them that matters.

A walk of thought

So it is Monday and the start of a new week which means more work and meetings and customers, and...and...and. I usually start my week by thinking the same thing, like this week I must write three short stories of 8000 words each for a client and honestly my brain is still in weekend mode so the energy is not yet there at all.

I normally go after something kind and motivational on a Monday, choosing a different piece each week just to get me going and I thought it is worth sharing with you.

"And so, dear heart, it is time for your restoration. For there is One greater than your Enemy, One who has sought you out from the beginning of time. He has come to heal your broken heart and restore your feminine soul"
The Ransomed Heart by John Eldredge

'He's always there...
To bear the burden,
To share the hours,
To strengthen the heart.
Our loving Lord,
Our faithful friend,
The one who cares...
He's always there.                                            

      Author: BJ. Hoff

No matter what you believe there is always something to find that will inspire to you and if there is not, just be grateful for what you have like your kids, a roof over your head, the fact that you have a job. Focus on the things that matter.

Holidays will come eventually to appreciate it even more. :-)

Hope this touched you today,

Johan

What is inside?

Have you ever considered what people see in you, not the outside but on the inside. I have asked myself that question many times and we tend to make up answers to fit the doubt we have inside. I cant fool myself and think that what people see inside of me is perfect and that I am a very good person, no one can. The truth is we all have flaws in our character that comes out some or other time during a day, a week, a month and if not handled could have a snowball effect.

It is no lie that how a person sees you directly affects how you see yourself. Events can have a great influence on this, relating to the past, your current situation or even just a week or day that did not end well. I believe there are many people out there that does not want to take it out on others so they bottle it up saying to themselves that it happened and it's over so lets move on. The fact here is that you do not really move on, like mentioned before it becomes a snowball, a dangerous one. 

The day will come that you just cant handle it anymore, the snowball has evolved beyond your control and that is when it surprises you,. You will never know when, it might hit you, at a grocery store or while speaking to a difficult customer, the worst it can happen right in front of family and friends. The famous outburst of anger and tears.

It is exactly when this happens that we lose belief in what other people really see in us and what we think of ourselves. If you can humbly apologize to those you offended and walk with your head held high it says a lot about who you really are inside. 

I leave you with this quote courtesy of www.brainyquote.com

Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox 

Read further on how to make your idea of yourself positive and productive: http://www.self-esteem-enhances-life.com/self-perception.html