Broken Heart(s)

The "shop" has been closed for a long time but not to worry the doors are now open and more weird and not so weird writing will be coming your way; now...

An experience I am currently going through with some friends of ours is both shocking and an eye opener. You want to be there to help, to fight, to do more but when I am home having some quiet time I realize there is only so much we can do. Life at times throws us these curve balls, other times it is massive rocks that hit where it hurts the most. It is never a good thing but it is during such a time when you need friends around you to just be there to listen, not to judge or give advice on how to live their lives. 

We all make mistakes, bad mistakes and when we look at ourselves in the mirror after we realize just how wrong and stupid it was of us, especially when you are in a relationship it seems like a monster is staring back. I have learnt not to look back, some people deserve the second chance but others who always have some hold over you and keeps on interfering does not deserve to be near you. Think of yourself and what you want first for your relationship before you think of them. Opinions might be different here but it will hurt me more to know that the person who was part of the pain and confusion in my mind is still hanging around. 

If you really care about someone and you see the relationship and the hard work they are putting into it rather do the noble thing and walk away - don't think that part of your world is still your oyster by saying you care, doing favors and then expecting those supposed good deeds back way before schedule. 

Leaves me thinking, my relationship is so important to me that I would do anything to make sure it stays that way. Yes nothing is perfect and their might be problems but you don't give up. Take that second chance both of you have decided on and walk with it...

From friends to friends :)

So much feelings that thunders from within

lightning strikes my heart and soul

I long for you still in memory and thought

time in our lives together be forever short

Together we can beat this storm

I need you by my side

Remember all that we built and all that we share

to know I love you rainbow or not. 

A thought!

Most woman in a relationship often suggest that they are right in every way and unfortunately a few men stands up to this. Before I carry on, I am not stereo typing anyone, neither man or woman. I believe it does happen, you do get relationships where the man or the woman just bows down and believes everything that is said as the truth. We all know a relationship should be, equal in all aspects but:

1) We watch movies and yes I know, I enjoy it to. We focus on what is being said, for example by the female lead and her attitude towards the male lead whether they are married, getting married, broken up or still in love as boyfriend and girlfriend. Not only does our eyes see but our minds take it in. To be a better mother my husband has to or I have to, or she needs to stop doing this and believe that it is not good for us.

2)We see it on infomercials, perfect families eating supper together laughing away or kids playing in the mud outside. What happens, one or the other is handed a suggestion without a choice that supper needs to be a family thing because, or the kids that are studying must play outside more so maybe it is time you get us a pool. 

3) Books on how to, yes the author might be right in many ways but what if the "Take Control" chapter is a bit extreme or totally puts you on another path. Our eyes takes it in and our mind listens, what can I do to change this better?

4)Asking for advice from a friend, i am not familiar with this situation but I believe no matter how good your relationship is don't ask for how to or what can I do advice. You don't want to thank the person later on for their great but wrong advice. 

5) Communication. It is important to talk always. If one has something that they feel needs a tweak or change don't hold it in to start throwing hints further along as you are not comfortable asking or talking about it anymore. In other words before it does become a skeleton bring it back to life. Discuss and reach a compromise. 

But hey, I am no relationship guru or adviser. These are my thoughts and how I see it. I believe one should never think you are always right. It is normal what I mentioned above but you will never be that someone else who takes the ultimate control or change a household or relationship that has been working for such a long time. Love what you have and if a change needs to be made, talk about it instead of insisting that your choice is the right one. Love what you have, in the end that is the most important part!

The "snow" we walk on

I imagined you with me on that cold winters day.

 I wanted you to save me from the chill of the morning breeze, the snow that covered my bare feet. I looked towards the giant monument, the clock centered in town and it became clear that you were not going to show. I was alone, for the first time in my life I had nowhere to hide or seek comfort, like everyone else you had left me. I walked the empty streets hoping that somewhere I would see you waiting for me, telling me that we got lost somehow but as the frozen leaves fell to the ground so did the hope inside me fade.

Night had set in as I found home, the house that was once alive had become a monster, Its doors and broken windows resembled years of neglect. The fire burning inside its belly was small and faint as smoke escaped from the chimney disappearing into the dark night. The fire provided little heat and comfort to my already troubled mind and night had only begun. I imagined you with me on that cold winters night, I imagined things how they were supposed to be but nothing had prepared me for this.

I found your letter, the one you had written me, the one engraved within my heart. You said that you were sorry but you cant accept me, you cant face the truth about who I really am. The fire was dying now and I had nothing within me to keep it from dying as the slicing wind blew violently through the house. You said that you were sorry, that maybe if you had done things differently I would not be so. You asked me to forgive you for all that has been done, that we can play the game once more but on your rules, ones you had written a very long time ago.

My house, everything I knew was falling apart around me. I stood in the snow barefoot each day hoping you would show so that I could show you in all honesty that the one you loved is not gone. The clock ticked by for months and days, long days where I hoped that this might be the day you would come back for me. Eventually as all seasons go the snow began to melt, but still no sign of you and day by day I started fixing my house trying to ignite the fire from within.

Winter for now has passed. And if I could I would write you a letter too.

A letter engraved into your heart telling you that I forgive you but I will no longer walk along the icy river and streets of time hoping you will show. The truth is I did not lose you, you lost me a very, very long time ago. I remember in you letter you said to me that no one knows what the future holds, I guess that is the truth but I know I will not be broken anymore. Search for me and you will find me, me not someone else.

In it you will find...

Sunrise

Light from windows shine

In its warmth I find myself

Blinded, lost but found

Sands of time

Shines the stars and moon

light from window shines once more

to repeat a circle, Love divine

J.R Robberts  2012