Welcome Home

We all want someone to welcome us home after a long trip away from land and country. It is what we all want, we want to feel welcome, accepted and loved. What we crave most will always be there, on the inside, hidden where no one else can see. It is just who we are, not everyone comes out flags waving saying this is how I really feel. Everyone deals with this emotional roller coaster in their own way, some talk about the past or the present because they know it is a safe place for them to share. Others watch, comparing situation against situation, to them silence is golden but the message it carries is clear. 

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There are lots of places to have private conversations on how we feel, places where one can just take in what is being said and use it as a positive rather than a negative. Everything we share with people has meaning, has a need attached to it, a message that needs to be heard. Whether it is shared on your blog, twitter, facebook or pinterest or all the others, what you feel will come across in a certain way. But you know what, it is the people that are willing to share, listen and take in that matters the most. Those are the kind that makes you feel welcome, accepted and loved. 

We all read that post where someone might say how they lost a loved one, how they were bullied in school, sharing those little extra details that makes us learn and understand how they made it through. Some might express it only in a post and say nothing further leaving the mind in thought. Even a poem can boggle your mind and make you think how did this person get here, what feelings brought this on? 

It is good being part of a group that understands you but the realization is just like in real life not all of them will. This is not to say they don't read or take in what you write, they simply choose to stand in the background watching as your story unfolds. But don't let this stop you from supporting them. 

We all want to feel welcome, accepted and loved even if it is expressed on paper. Strangers take notice, strangers see and then something called friendship forms. So in the end I don't just see a post as just what it is, I see it as a door, a opportunity to share, care and support. 

No matter your background or where you come from, everyone deserves to be welcomed home. 

The "snow" we walk on

I imagined you with me on that cold winters day.

 I wanted you to save me from the chill of the morning breeze, the snow that covered my bare feet. I looked towards the giant monument, the clock centered in town and it became clear that you were not going to show. I was alone, for the first time in my life I had nowhere to hide or seek comfort, like everyone else you had left me. I walked the empty streets hoping that somewhere I would see you waiting for me, telling me that we got lost somehow but as the frozen leaves fell to the ground so did the hope inside me fade.

Night had set in as I found home, the house that was once alive had become a monster, Its doors and broken windows resembled years of neglect. The fire burning inside its belly was small and faint as smoke escaped from the chimney disappearing into the dark night. The fire provided little heat and comfort to my already troubled mind and night had only begun. I imagined you with me on that cold winters night, I imagined things how they were supposed to be but nothing had prepared me for this.

I found your letter, the one you had written me, the one engraved within my heart. You said that you were sorry but you cant accept me, you cant face the truth about who I really am. The fire was dying now and I had nothing within me to keep it from dying as the slicing wind blew violently through the house. You said that you were sorry, that maybe if you had done things differently I would not be so. You asked me to forgive you for all that has been done, that we can play the game once more but on your rules, ones you had written a very long time ago.

My house, everything I knew was falling apart around me. I stood in the snow barefoot each day hoping you would show so that I could show you in all honesty that the one you loved is not gone. The clock ticked by for months and days, long days where I hoped that this might be the day you would come back for me. Eventually as all seasons go the snow began to melt, but still no sign of you and day by day I started fixing my house trying to ignite the fire from within.

Winter for now has passed. And if I could I would write you a letter too.

A letter engraved into your heart telling you that I forgive you but I will no longer walk along the icy river and streets of time hoping you will show. The truth is I did not lose you, you lost me a very, very long time ago. I remember in you letter you said to me that no one knows what the future holds, I guess that is the truth but I know I will not be broken anymore. Search for me and you will find me, me not someone else.

In it you will find...

Sunrise

Light from windows shine

In its warmth I find myself

Blinded, lost but found

Sands of time

Shines the stars and moon

light from window shines once more

to repeat a circle, Love divine

J.R Robberts  2012

What is inside?

Have you ever considered what people see in you, not the outside but on the inside. I have asked myself that question many times and we tend to make up answers to fit the doubt we have inside. I cant fool myself and think that what people see inside of me is perfect and that I am a very good person, no one can. The truth is we all have flaws in our character that comes out some or other time during a day, a week, a month and if not handled could have a snowball effect.

It is no lie that how a person sees you directly affects how you see yourself. Events can have a great influence on this, relating to the past, your current situation or even just a week or day that did not end well. I believe there are many people out there that does not want to take it out on others so they bottle it up saying to themselves that it happened and it's over so lets move on. The fact here is that you do not really move on, like mentioned before it becomes a snowball, a dangerous one. 

The day will come that you just cant handle it anymore, the snowball has evolved beyond your control and that is when it surprises you,. You will never know when, it might hit you, at a grocery store or while speaking to a difficult customer, the worst it can happen right in front of family and friends. The famous outburst of anger and tears.

It is exactly when this happens that we lose belief in what other people really see in us and what we think of ourselves. If you can humbly apologize to those you offended and walk with your head held high it says a lot about who you really are inside. 

I leave you with this quote courtesy of www.brainyquote.com

Always continue the climb. It is possible for you to do whatever you choose, if you first get to know who you are and are willing to work with a power that is greater than ourselves to do it.
Ella Wheeler Wilcox 

Read further on how to make your idea of yourself positive and productive: http://www.self-esteem-enhances-life.com/self-perception.html