Will you answer?

Words lie like dirty sheets on the floor, the curtains blocking the light to the inner fight, the hate spreading like wine over a carpet of white. The furniture like the rest of the room is old and damaged, except for the red telephone hanging on the pealing  paper walls. So long have I looked at the phone waiting for it to ring, a way out, an escape out of this dream.

Days have passed since I opened my eyes and till now no one has knocked on the rusted metal door. I remain alone here with my actions, paying off my debt for a day, a life, a night. What lies behind the door I do not know, a portal to reality written on the wall. When will I stand and face this messy place, how long must I wait.

Its been a month now and I am still alone, the phone stopped working days ago. It did not matter, who would I have called? I was the one that was better first, I had success and everything, I did not need them like I needed them before. Gone is the sun now, the shadows it used to cast over these filthy words and stained carpeted floor. If I am to make it I must open that door, I cant stay here much longer, I am going backwards and need them all again. I need the people at the bottom to carry me back to my majestic chair way up in the sky.

The door is heavy. It had been shut for a long time, clouds of swarming dust filled the room as I pulled on it. It cracked and squeaked until finally I could make out something on the other side. It was paradise. I was home. I swung open the door and ran as far as I could until I reached a pool of water and jumped inside.Then I heard it, it was faint at first but soon became clear, standing in the middle of the water was the red telephone ringing away.

I approached with caution lifting the receiver remaining silent. Truth is just like the last time someone hung up and the message was the same. I thought I was to good for other people when I reached the top, truth is I was wrong.

I guess in the end the question is whether that red phone is also ringing for you? Will you answer it or ignore it just like others will eventually start to ignore you.

I choose to say Thank you!


 

Don't Run

If you run what is it you will find? Is it the dreams you left behind, will nightmares run swiftly by your side, will all that is so right and wrong leave you to find your own way home or will it return to remind you running is like the sky. The clouds come and the clouds go and so does the rain and what might be gone tomorrow can easily return the next day.

The road to run is long, it has rocks and sharp glass to cut your feet, it brings with it no signs of sun, just darkness follows in its path. Here lies loss and pain. Empty graves of darkness lies within the field, a field of broken promises and disgust. The trees stretch their long bony arms pulling at your clothes, trying to hold you back, no one is to leave, no one ever can. It is a door within a forest of weeds and thorns you will never find, a never ending tale.

In the end is it not best to abandon the cause, leave that door alone and look towards the sun. Clouds come and go and so does the rain but if you hope and keep fighting it can return any day and you will be okay. Stay true to yourself and face things as they come no matter how hard it may seem.

The 2014 Challenge

Its a new year. 2013 or at the end of it was surprising and brought forth a new challenge. I like a new challenge as long as i know what it is and how to get through it quickly. The truth is that no challenge is ever that simple, especially those that jump out from nowhere just smiling. Murphy is it? Is that what they call him or her or it?

So here we are in 2014 and we all hope for that good fresh start;it is like wishing you will win millions tomorrow or that all will be just right. Sorry if this is coming from a negative  perspective but sometimes it is and other times it is not. Who has never prayed about life or wished upon a shooting star? At some time we all do and face it nobody is perfect , nobody lands on their feet each day, we all have our down moments.

So what does a person do? Well im no professional but talking about it might help and might not help. Sitting at the drawing board all night might also do the trick and also not. I once believed in smoking and I am glad that I still think about it,  just less. Im in no means promoting drugs or alcohol , i was always the best i n my class; :-)) several years ago.

Truth is 2014 is here and there might already be drama but if you stand together with those friends or family or just ask for help it does make the load a little easier to bare no matter the situation. In the end its about love and how far a person is willing to go for yourself or someone else.

I for one am grateful for this year and even if it is a bumpy one, im spending it with the people i love and care about.  Losing yourself in stress is not.

See u guys tomorrow and care always.

Listen.

No one takes notice of them. It begins with a simple goodbye to soon or a violent fight, emotions not understood. They walk with us day by day on the streets, stands in line with us at coffee shops and fast food restaurants. They are not the same as us, yet anyone who sees the end result will be asking why, some won't even care and just carry on their normal way.

At night we sleep while they think constantly and screaming in their dreams. They wake up and read the writing once more, or ends the story with a "I will always love u." before placing it, just in case the final whistle blows. It watches them, waiting for the time to take them. What they believed and thought before had disappeared and all that remained was scattered pieces of memory like cloth torn from a dress, hooked on wire hardly moving in the wind. The wind that was behind the sails had gone, and no hope remained.

In their boats they wait for anyone to show, the sun setting like fire in the distance, the end now near. Boats of different colors they were, some more lost and far away from where the sunlight once was before, drifting off to sea, into the mouth of a beast. There are those who wait, those who gives up and those who just don't understand why they are and who they are.

We should ask why if we ever get the chance, we should sail our ship close to theirs and pull them back to shore no matter how hard the waves of the ocean fights back. Their ship is in need of fixing and you know just how to provide the help you can to make it not perfect but bearable. We should do the best we can and avoid the end that steals to soon saying:

"Here lies he who lost all hope and no one heard the cry."

Listen.

In it you will find...

Sunrise

Light from windows shine

In its warmth I find myself

Blinded, lost but found

Sands of time

Shines the stars and moon

light from window shines once more

to repeat a circle, Love divine

J.R Robberts  2012

Spring clean of a different kind...

Today was all about this and that, chores and more. Some say it's fun doing the things most people do not want to do but I find it calming, it makes you think about times ahead and times that have long since passed. It gives clarity like clean laundry, the smell of the fabric softener, gone is all the dirt and grime just like in the mind. Fold it up neatly and things start falling into place numerically and alphabetically.

The reality is that clothes do not stay clean, the softener does not last and soon you find yourself back to where you started just thinking, waiting for the calm during the storm. Fear can cripple you, it can make you lose sight of all things positive, thoughts, memories. It can infiltrate through even the toughest of skin leaving the stains of its presence behind, stains that does not easily fade after one wash.

We all have them, no matter how neatly packed away or how good it is folded, at times they linger and stay with us, fears. Chores and more needs work, fears needs work, either you get rid of them or feed them, the scars of times past or times to come. Sometimes we feed them because it is so easy to think way ahead into the future forgetting that life is about living for today and not for what is to come a year down the line.

I guess it is true that the mind is a powerful weapon, it can make you or break you and I look at times in mirrors of shadows and find myself lost waiting for the calm during the storm that is life. We all have a choice but the question is how easy is it to make? How easy is it to forget pain, loss, suffering or do we live with the effects each day painting our own pictures in our minds and based on that build our futures.

We all have them... how easy is it?